


Always Drowning

by leopardchic79



Category: The Exorcist (TV)
Genre: Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene, Not Beta Read, OR IS IT, Pining, S02E05, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 13:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12682605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leopardchic79/pseuds/leopardchic79
Summary: Just a missing-scene ficlet post-episode S02E05, There but For the Grace of God, Go I.  A little bit of h/c with everyone’s two favorite exorcists.





	Always Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Head over heels for this show! Figured I would use my motivation to write during NaNoWriMo to write something small for this criminally underrated fandom. It's just a ficlet, but it's more than I've written in months so yay!

Marcus felt just a little bit lighter than he had in months. He wasn't quite sure he could trust the feeling completely, but it was a nice break nonetheless. Somewhere along the line, he'd almost forgotten that confession - if genuine - could be rather cathartic. It hadn't been easy by any means, but he was grateful to Peter for pulling it from him. 

The kiss hadn't hurt either. 

Smiling, he walked slowly from the dock towards Andy's house, intending to take a quick look around again before heading back to the room he shared with Tomas in the small hotel they’d found. Lighter burden or no, there was still work to be done. And there was definitely something festering here. 

The peace he was feeling, of course, didn't last long. The flickering lights coming from the attic window caught his attention first. The silhouette of a certain dark-haired priest staring up at it from the ground outside was second. 

He wished he could say that he was surprised to find Tomas here. He had hoped that the younger man would've heeded his advice to wait, but he wasn't at all surprised that he hadn't. Tomas no longer did well with patience or inaction. Marcus had to wonder if that was his fault or influence. 

Dimly, he hoped that maybe Tomas hadn't been too careless. Maybe he'd just arrived now to find the house as Marcus had. 

"Tomas?" 

His hopes were quickly dashed when Tomas spun around at the sound of his voice - terror painted vividly on his face. 

Instantly concerned, Marcus stepped closer and gripped Tomas' shoulder, unnerved to find that the younger man was trembling. The fear hadn't yet left Tomas' eyes, and it made Marcus worry. That worry made him lash out. 

"You went into that house, didn't you? By yourself. After I told you to wait for me," he hissed, eyes flashing angrily. He cringed a little to himself, as he couldn't help but think that he sounded a bit like an angry parent. But his anger over Tomas’ increasingly reckless behavior was genuine. 

Tomas' terror faded from his eyes though - something Marcus was glad of - replaced quickly with his own anger and annoyance. 

"I had to do something. The sooner the better," he argued. 

Marcus glared at him. "And what exactly have you done? It looks to me like you've made things worse," he yelled, pointing to the third-floor window. 

They both glanced up as the lights coming from the window abruptly went out. 

Their eyes met again and Tomas' were full of fear once more. Impatient, Marcus let anger cover his own fear and worry. "Well?" he snapped. 

Tomas swallowed hard and shook his head; he looked very far away for a moment. "I...I'm not entirely sure. It was different...I knew something was there, but I couldn't see it. Couldn't figure out where or what it was. Not entirely. It was just..." he trailed off, voice low and shaky. He shook his head again and looked away, posture rigid, breathing a little bit ragged. 

Marcus forced his anger away, knowing it was just an easy cover for the fear he felt. Fear for Tomas' safety and wellbeing. He stepped closer and reached out to grip Tomas' shoulder again. When Tomas shivered a little and moved closer still, Marcus couldn't resist. He slid his hand to the back of Tomas' neck, hoping the warmth of his fingers would seep into the other man’s unusually cold skin. 

Tomas looked up and met his eyes again, fear warring with the comfort he wanted to take from Marcus' touch. "It was... _evil_." He stressed the last word, as if they didn't face evil on a regular basis. As if this was something different. Maybe it was. "I should've...I... _needed_ you, Marcus." 

There were about a hundred ways that Marcus wanted to hear those words on Tomas' lips, but this wasn't one of them. He felt guilty now, even though he knew that wasn't fair. Tomas didn't know where he'd been or who he'd been with, but while he had been on a moonlit boat cruise, Tomas had been battling with an unholy demon and nearly getting himself hurt in the process. 

Not that Tomas would ever seek to make him feel guilty for any of this if he knew. Marcus was plenty good at feeling guilty all on his own. 

The fact was that the evening with Peter had been peaceful, and a relief, and maybe even a little bit romantic...but it hadn't changed anything. He'd fallen hard in Chicago - under the worst of circumstances - and harder still in the past six months. It certainly wasn't ideal, and he was positive it was both unrequited and unnoticed. But it still didn't make things easier. Especially with the two of them living on top of each other in small, cheap motel rooms with very few opportunities for a break from one another. He'd let it manifest into frustration and anger towards Tomas over the past few months and he regretted that. 

Sighing, Marcus squeezed the back of Tomas' neck gently. "I'm here now," he answered softly. "Why don't you tell me what happened?" 

Tomas nodded eagerly, a flash of relief in his dark eyes. But before Marcus could get an answer or say anything else he found himself with his arms full of a frightened priest. 

Suddenly nervous in a way he hadn't counted on, Marcus sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He returned Tomas' embrace before he could talk himself out of it, slipping his arm around his back and daring to pull him just a little bit closer. Tomas didn't seem to mind. Marcus could feel his heartbeat slowing, could feel how he was relaxing into the embrace carefully as if seeking comfort was difficult for him. Maybe it was. Marcus knew it was for himself after all. 

He knew he couldn't let this last - for several reasons - but allowed it for just a little bit longer. He doubted they would have a moment's peace soon so it was nice to draw strength from this while he could. The fact that having a warm Tomas in his arms felt better than just about anything - including the kiss he'd shared with Peter earlier this evening - was something he chose to ignore. 

"There's something terrible in that house," Tomas whispered, breath warm against the skin of Marcus' neck. It made him shiver. 

Reluctantly, he pulled back, still keeping his arms on Tomas' shoulders and met his eyes again. "I know." He wondered about what Tomas hadn’t told him yet, but let it go for the moment. 

He let his hands drop to his sides, startling when Tomas reached out to grip onto his wrist. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but couldn't quite figure out how. There was still a lingering fear in his eyes, and Marcus desperately wanted to pull him close again. Instead, he turned back towards the house and looked up at the third floor. A light was on again. 

Tomas looked up with him, fingers still wrapped around his wrist. Feeling brave, Marcus slipped his hand into Tomas' and squeezed. Tomas didn’t let go. 


End file.
